


What Isn't Real

by unionforj



Category: Union J (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-28
Updated: 2013-03-28
Packaged: 2017-12-06 19:10:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/739119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unionforj/pseuds/unionforj





	What Isn't Real

They’re only together because they can’t be with anyone else, and George has to believe that. No matter how sweet J-J can be.

 

George would be foolish to think anything close to J-J kissing him because he wanted too.

 

As soon as they got to the Judge’s House, they were told straight up that if they didn’t already have significant others, they couldn’t go after one. They had to be single, if they already were, so that their fans could imagine being with them. They had to be guilty pleasures. So, J-J kissing him was merely his way of getting out frustration.

 

And George had to remember this. He was the youngest of the group, he had to make sure everyone knew that this didn’t make him the dumbest, the most naïve. And really, he didn’t mind J-J kissing him.

 

Because J-J was a great kisser. No, he really was. None of the girls George had ever kissed left him so breathless. It took a while to get used to such large hands grabbing him and holding him still while a warm tongue searched him roughly enough he could almost taste the desperation but gently enough that it was almost sentimental. And George told himself repeatedly, that J-J was not desperate for him. He was desperate for contact.

 

Josh spent his desperation calling his girlfriend. George could hear him, late at night. The blue-eyed boy would sneak out of their shared bed; grab his phone and slip into the toilet. George hadn’t told him that he was a light sleeper yet. He didn’t want to make Josh feel guilty for waking him up almost every night. Also there was the fact that George heard the boy having phone sex almost nightly, which he found rather strange anyway.

 

At first, George and J-J shared secret kisses in closets, away from cameras and band mates and coaches. George didn’t mind, because J-J would whisper ‘Georgie’ in his ear in a way that made him shiver. No girl had ever made him shiver before. And J-J would look at him with soft eyes and a half smile afterwards, and lead him out of the closet by his hand.

 

George had to tell himself over and over that it was because of the gag order. It wasn’t because J-J actually liked him in this way. George was the youngest member, the newest member. He couldn’t be tricked in this way. He had to prove himself worthy of joining Union J.

 

He sometimes had dinner with just J-J, out at restaurants with no windows so no one knew. J-J was hilarious; he got George laughing every five minutes. There feet would touch sometimes, under the table, and J-J would rub his foot against George’s ankle, a little smirk tugging at one side of his mouth. George would try his best to hide his blush behind his napkin or something; and J-J would reach across the table and tug his hand down, his eyes smiling.

 

“It’s adorable,” He’d say to excuse it. “You shouldn’t hide it.”

 

But they weren’t dates. No, they were just having dinner alone together with candles as friends. They weren’t allowed to date, so they had each other, secretly, every once in a while, to keep from going insane.

 

Then of course, when they met One Direction, Harry Styles just had to pull him away from the rest of the group, giving them wary eyes. “He’s rather fit, isn’t he?”

 

 

George scoffed. “Which one?”

 

Harry Styles quirked his eyebrows. “You know which one.”

 

“I really don’t.”

 

Harry Styles sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You know, I’ve been there. Where you are now. You think, well, he’s in my band, and surely the band won’t last. I can’t be that lucky. But you’re not on the outside. It could last. Both could last, and once you’re out there, there are rules and regulations and you have to be perfect, and being together? It’s not perfect, not according to them.”

 

George swallowed, his eyes flicking over to where the rest of Union J and One Direction were mingling. J-J spied him, gave him a smile that, as always, made his stomach clench. “You know, I get it. The first time I saw Louis, he gave me a grin as wide as the Earth. And he was older, wiser. He took care of me, of us, and at the same time acted like such a child that it reminded me that a few years was basically nothing. You think it would go away, but it just got stronger. And he’s so scared, you know. One mistake and everything could go away, he says. Sometimes I get scared for him. I lie awake at night, worrying because he’s so sentimental, so worried he’ll ruin everything for all of us. I had to get him put on antidepressants.”

 

“What are you trying to tell me?”

 

Harry Styles smiled down at him. “Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Be their friend, their band mate.”

 

“That’s all I am.” George insisted. “They put a gag order on us, we can’t go out and date anyone. J-J and I, we kiss sometimes, but its only because we can’t kiss anyone else. And we’ve done… more, but that’s because we’re young and, you know… need some….”

 

“I get it,” Harry Styles smiled grimly. “Just watch yourself.”

 

George nodded, feeling his blood turn cold. Louis Tomlinson seemed so happy, with his eyes crinkling with his smile. He didn’t seem like someone who could be suicidal. It didn’t seem possible. And with the way Harry looked at him, like he was everything in the world, how could he be sad when he had someone looking at him like that? But in reality, he understood. Jaymi had already been forced to party with a bunch of girls to counter his MySpace profile. And Louis Tomlinson was right. One mistake, and everything went down the toilet.

 

It would be easy to tell J-J to stop, he told himself. There were no feelings involved, after all. They were only kissing each other because it was easy. They were only doing a bit more because it was easy. It wasn’t like anyone knew. They wouldn’t be able to tell that they had stopped.

 

But then, after rehearsal when Jaymi and Josh left to get some water, J-J smirked at him, and tugged his and so that George fell into his lap. George was so close to protesting, really he was. But J-J was looking at him with worry in his eyes, tilting his chin up. “You alright, Georgie?”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“You’ve been quiet, since the show. Are you sure?” J-J asked. George gave him a smile. J-J smiled back, wrapping his arms, so warm, around George. “We’ll do better this time around.”

 

And then they kissed, lightly, softly, with a small amount of tongue, reassuring George. George wrapped his arms tiredly around J-J’s neck, because, one more kiss really couldn’t hurt. They stayed like that for a few minutes, just kissing sweetly, and if George were more easily fooled, he would suspect that just maybe, J-J liked him romantically.

 

Josh and Jaymi walking in was a bit of a downer, quite literally judging from the sudden lack of a hard warmth under George’s thighs. “What the hell is this?”

 

“What’s it look like?” J-J demanded, throwing the fake mike at the boys. Josh dodged it, glaring at them. George tried to leap out of J-J’s lap, but J-J’s arms held him in place. J-J looked up at him with a smile. “Hey, it’s alright. They don’t mind, do you, boys?”

 

Josh just shook his head, hiding his eyes behind his hands, “No, I don’t mind, but you know how I feel about PDA.”

 

“Well it wasn’t PDA until you guys walked in.”

 

“Can we just get back to rehearsing?” Jaymi asked.

 

They stood up, getting back into place to sing. J-J leaned in though, brushing George’s hair away from his ear. George shivered involuntarily, Harry Style’s words echoing back at him. “You don’t mind, do you? Them knowing?”

 

George looked up at his elder. He replied honestly, “Why would I?”

 

J-J grinned, and kissed his temple sweetly. George had to fight himself, because it wasn’t a real relationship. He couldn’t let himself fall for it.

 

No matter how much his heart ached for it to be real.


End file.
